So, with the help of a new Netflix account, I'm hoping to run through all of the World Wrestling Entertainment PPVs this year . . . and by the time '08 rolls around, I hope to have a nice tidy list of the year's top ten matches that Vince McMahon made his audience pay for. While the Royal Rumble is NOT the first PPV of the year, it is the first one that I've seen, so . . . needless to say that since I have not yet seen 10 PPV matches, that all of the Royal Rumble matches, at the moment, are in the top ten . . . well, top five. After New Year's Revolution arrives (the first actual PPV of '07), I'll watch and consider those matches, adding five more to this list, perhaps replacing some that are on here. With that said:
1. [Tentative PPV Match of the Year] John Cena (c) vs. Umaga (WWE Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007). I want to get out of the way the problems I have with this match. First off, on repeated viewings, it becomes clear that people watching it for the first time could find it potentially predicatable. Every foreign object the challenger introduces to the match gets used against him. When Umaga throws the top of the ringside stairs into the ring, John Cena propels them back out. When Umaga brings the larger bottom set of stairs into the ring, Cena uses those as well. When Umaga lays out John Cena on the announce table, he ends up crashing through it all by his lonesome after the champion moves out of the way. To top it off, when Umaga's manager unscrews one of the corner turnbuckles, John Cena manages to evade the challenger's attack and use the turnbuckle AND the freed top rope in order to win the match. So . . . in a sense the match is rather formulaic. Umaga beats up Cena. Introduces weapon. Cena uses weapon. Umaga beats up Cena. Introduces weapon . . . so on.
But that's only one perspective. In another, John Cena NEEDS to counter Umaga's uses of foreign objects. Why? Because this is the only way, aside from the roll-up that earned him a win over this same challenger earlier in the month, he can beat the dominant challenger in a Last Man Standing match. Umaga does not NEED weapons to defeat John Cena, thus when he brings them into the match, the champion earns a reprieve from his beating, some much needed recuperative time (no matter how short), time in which he knows he has to turn the tables somehow . . . either that or he'll go down for the count and wake up without the title. In a great moment of irony, the ringsteps DO injure John Cena, but not because of an Umaga Attack. The champion hoists Umaga midway through the match for an FU, but his legs give out; Cena's head gets squished between steel and Samoan Chunk. And, boy, does it ever get squished. The champion's blood elevates a match that would have been great without it . . . and it alone is what will probably distract fans from getting the match formula the first time. Well, that and the fact that the match rules the world . . . it will be hard to beat this match due to several things: (1) Umaga's dominance, (2) Cena's selling, (3) Cena's timed comebacks, (4) Cena's blood, and (5) the gradual escalation of violence that pretty much outdoes every other Last Man Standing match. The first time Cena knocks down Umaga, he gets up at 6 . . . and every other time after that Umaga takes a bit longer to get up. After crashing through the table, he's up at 9. It takes an STFU with a noose around Umaga's neck to choke the challenger out. (6) The look on John Cena's face before the match. (7) The look on John Cena's face after the match. ****1/4 [23:09]
2. The Hardy Boyz vs. MNM (Royal Rumble 2007). Despite the fact that both of these teams were well-established tag teams prior to this event, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Nitro represent Raw (Jeff is the IC Champion as a matter of fact) while Matt Hardy and Joey Mercury represent Smackdown. This interpromtional dynamic doesn't play much into the match, however, since there is plenty of hatred (especially between Matt and Joey) sparked by the nasty accident at Armageddon the previous month involving two ladders, the Hardy Boyz, and Joey Mercury's poor face. Since that time, Matt and Mercury had feuded on Smackdown while Jeff Hardy battled through his share of IC matches with Nitro on Raw, all leading up to a bout (i.e., this match) with a much more intricate backstory than most PPV openers. But this match is good not just because of how interesting these contextual threads are, but because it might very well be the best non-gimmick Hardy Boyz tag match ever (yeah, I know, big claim, but I can't really recall many memorable Hardy tags that didn't involve ladders, big bumps, and potentially a 3-D or two). At this point in their careers both Matt and Jeff have smoothed out their offense and look more like a disciplined, veteran tag team rather than an up-and-coming team that is better suited killed by larger teams. There is also great selling here. Matt comes in with a "hurt jaw" that MNM target nicely (kudos to MNM for that), but even Jeff -- off of the hot tag -- gets isolated and worked over too. Both guys have come a long way from being ragdolls, and they suck the audience in with more natural selling and zero huge bumps. But this match wouldn't work as well without Joey Mercury really communicating his own hatred for Matt, as he works over Matt's jaw as a receipt for his broken face (covered with a face guard in this match). Nitro, while perhaps the least memorable and least important character story-wise, still plays a great foil to Mercury . . . a calm enforcer of sorts who manages to ding Matt's jaw first and to counter Jeff's top rope splash (though, in an interesting twist, he still has to eat a top rop leg drop from Matt). Tack on a finishing stretch that never goes over the top and still gets the crowd involved and you have one hell of a tag match. Mercury definitely earns match honors here just due to his clubbering attitude along. You gotta love a match that can still get a crowd believing a match can end with a bulldog. ***1/4 [15:37]
3. Batista (c) vs. Ken Kennedy (World Heavyweight Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007; 49:26 -). I didn't know what to think of this match before going in either, but it turned out to be rather good. Kennedy brought a good strategy that startled subtly less than half a minute into the match. Kennedy is just ON here, building his strategy around targeting Batista's leg, even if he has to eat some offense. When Batista's knee bothers him too much to hammer back, Kennedy really takes over with some great offense (and, likewise, Batista does a good job as well), throwing in high impact offense when the champion cannot recover. One of my favorite moments in the match sees Kennedy stomp Batista into a corner, drape his leg over the bottom rope before stomping it, and rush in with a facewash-boot after the referee backs him off. He takes advantage even of the official's stepping-in, using the new distance to work up some speed and kick the champion's face into the first row. Other nifty things include Batista resorting to a desperation small package to try and end the match and save his leg, Kennedy slipping out of a powerslam attempt and nailing a chopblock, Batista fighting through some elbows before executing a rolling fireman's carry slam (a signature maneuver of Mr. Kennedy himself), and a pro-Kennedy chant late in the match. The story here is all about strategy: both the pluses of and minuses of Kennedy's choice to target Batista knee. Though it allowed him to control a great deal of the match, the time spent targeting Batista's leg meant less time hitting moves that would put the champion down for the three count. By the time Batista managed to hoist Kennedy for the Batista Bomb, the challenger's punches didn't have enough of effect . . . and he couldn't reach the part of the champion's body where such shots would do some damage. Good stuff from both guys, but most especially the challenger. *** [10:30]
4. Royal Rumble 2007 Match. I can't really do this match just seeing as these things typically work like a rollercoaster . . . up and down . . . exciting and dull . . . great and very disappointing. For the most part, though, this Rumble match veered toward exciting and great rather than d or d. This is due largely to placement since several of the early wrestlers were guys fans could see winning the thing. Aside from the fact that the ECW guys (aside from CMP and RVD) were fodder for Vince's crew, this year's Rumble had some great moments: (1) Ric Flair and Finlay starting the thing, (2) the chemistry of Orton and Edge, (3) the final seven minutes with HBK and Taker (though King's ignorance/forgetfulness of their past feud seemed a tad odd), (4) Khali's dominance timed perfectly with the entrance of Taker, (5) and so on and so on. It might not be my favorite Rumble, but the ending felt memorable and I admire the booking here, starting the thing off with big names, keeping the long match fresh, and ending it with an either-way, legend-sparring, back-and-forth dramatic finale. I never know how to rate these things: *** (56:17).
5. Bobbie Lashley (c) vs. Test (ECW World Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007). I must admit I was dreading this match before popping it in, but I actually liked about two or three mintues of it. When Lashley dominated early on, I dug his no-nonsense spear tackle in response to Test's petty slap. But when Test managed to take over, it came to a dead halt. His shoulder stunner looked a bit dangerous, but the armbar-a-thon just doesn't work as the major component of a control segment focused on hurting the arm or shoulder of an opponent. In addition, Test's frustration after hitting his Big Boot looked corny, and his choice to walk away from the match after Lashley clotheslined him was just horrible booking. After using a video package that seemed to indicate Test's great desire to win the ECW World Title, having the top challenger just walk away from the match without even taking a great deal of offense near the end of the bout (which didn't even pass the ten minute mark) just screams sloppy, shoddy, bullshit booking that actually hurts the status of the title rather than cementing the toughness of the champion. Not impressive at all . . . even with Lashley chasing down the runaway challenger. *1/2 [7:09]
1. [Tentative PPV Match of the Year] John Cena (c) vs. Umaga (WWE Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007). I want to get out of the way the problems I have with this match. First off, on repeated viewings, it becomes clear that people watching it for the first time could find it potentially predicatable. Every foreign object the challenger introduces to the match gets used against him. When Umaga throws the top of the ringside stairs into the ring, John Cena propels them back out. When Umaga brings the larger bottom set of stairs into the ring, Cena uses those as well. When Umaga lays out John Cena on the announce table, he ends up crashing through it all by his lonesome after the champion moves out of the way. To top it off, when Umaga's manager unscrews one of the corner turnbuckles, John Cena manages to evade the challenger's attack and use the turnbuckle AND the freed top rope in order to win the match. So . . . in a sense the match is rather formulaic. Umaga beats up Cena. Introduces weapon. Cena uses weapon. Umaga beats up Cena. Introduces weapon . . . so on.
But that's only one perspective. In another, John Cena NEEDS to counter Umaga's uses of foreign objects. Why? Because this is the only way, aside from the roll-up that earned him a win over this same challenger earlier in the month, he can beat the dominant challenger in a Last Man Standing match. Umaga does not NEED weapons to defeat John Cena, thus when he brings them into the match, the champion earns a reprieve from his beating, some much needed recuperative time (no matter how short), time in which he knows he has to turn the tables somehow . . . either that or he'll go down for the count and wake up without the title. In a great moment of irony, the ringsteps DO injure John Cena, but not because of an Umaga Attack. The champion hoists Umaga midway through the match for an FU, but his legs give out; Cena's head gets squished between steel and Samoan Chunk. And, boy, does it ever get squished. The champion's blood elevates a match that would have been great without it . . . and it alone is what will probably distract fans from getting the match formula the first time. Well, that and the fact that the match rules the world . . . it will be hard to beat this match due to several things: (1) Umaga's dominance, (2) Cena's selling, (3) Cena's timed comebacks, (4) Cena's blood, and (5) the gradual escalation of violence that pretty much outdoes every other Last Man Standing match. The first time Cena knocks down Umaga, he gets up at 6 . . . and every other time after that Umaga takes a bit longer to get up. After crashing through the table, he's up at 9. It takes an STFU with a noose around Umaga's neck to choke the challenger out. (6) The look on John Cena's face before the match. (7) The look on John Cena's face after the match. ****1/4 [23:09]
2. The Hardy Boyz vs. MNM (Royal Rumble 2007). Despite the fact that both of these teams were well-established tag teams prior to this event, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Nitro represent Raw (Jeff is the IC Champion as a matter of fact) while Matt Hardy and Joey Mercury represent Smackdown. This interpromtional dynamic doesn't play much into the match, however, since there is plenty of hatred (especially between Matt and Joey) sparked by the nasty accident at Armageddon the previous month involving two ladders, the Hardy Boyz, and Joey Mercury's poor face. Since that time, Matt and Mercury had feuded on Smackdown while Jeff Hardy battled through his share of IC matches with Nitro on Raw, all leading up to a bout (i.e., this match) with a much more intricate backstory than most PPV openers. But this match is good not just because of how interesting these contextual threads are, but because it might very well be the best non-gimmick Hardy Boyz tag match ever (yeah, I know, big claim, but I can't really recall many memorable Hardy tags that didn't involve ladders, big bumps, and potentially a 3-D or two). At this point in their careers both Matt and Jeff have smoothed out their offense and look more like a disciplined, veteran tag team rather than an up-and-coming team that is better suited killed by larger teams. There is also great selling here. Matt comes in with a "hurt jaw" that MNM target nicely (kudos to MNM for that), but even Jeff -- off of the hot tag -- gets isolated and worked over too. Both guys have come a long way from being ragdolls, and they suck the audience in with more natural selling and zero huge bumps. But this match wouldn't work as well without Joey Mercury really communicating his own hatred for Matt, as he works over Matt's jaw as a receipt for his broken face (covered with a face guard in this match). Nitro, while perhaps the least memorable and least important character story-wise, still plays a great foil to Mercury . . . a calm enforcer of sorts who manages to ding Matt's jaw first and to counter Jeff's top rope splash (though, in an interesting twist, he still has to eat a top rop leg drop from Matt). Tack on a finishing stretch that never goes over the top and still gets the crowd involved and you have one hell of a tag match. Mercury definitely earns match honors here just due to his clubbering attitude along. You gotta love a match that can still get a crowd believing a match can end with a bulldog. ***1/4 [15:37]
3. Batista (c) vs. Ken Kennedy (World Heavyweight Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007; 49:26 -). I didn't know what to think of this match before going in either, but it turned out to be rather good. Kennedy brought a good strategy that startled subtly less than half a minute into the match. Kennedy is just ON here, building his strategy around targeting Batista's leg, even if he has to eat some offense. When Batista's knee bothers him too much to hammer back, Kennedy really takes over with some great offense (and, likewise, Batista does a good job as well), throwing in high impact offense when the champion cannot recover. One of my favorite moments in the match sees Kennedy stomp Batista into a corner, drape his leg over the bottom rope before stomping it, and rush in with a facewash-boot after the referee backs him off. He takes advantage even of the official's stepping-in, using the new distance to work up some speed and kick the champion's face into the first row. Other nifty things include Batista resorting to a desperation small package to try and end the match and save his leg, Kennedy slipping out of a powerslam attempt and nailing a chopblock, Batista fighting through some elbows before executing a rolling fireman's carry slam (a signature maneuver of Mr. Kennedy himself), and a pro-Kennedy chant late in the match. The story here is all about strategy: both the pluses of and minuses of Kennedy's choice to target Batista knee. Though it allowed him to control a great deal of the match, the time spent targeting Batista's leg meant less time hitting moves that would put the champion down for the three count. By the time Batista managed to hoist Kennedy for the Batista Bomb, the challenger's punches didn't have enough of effect . . . and he couldn't reach the part of the champion's body where such shots would do some damage. Good stuff from both guys, but most especially the challenger. *** [10:30]
4. Royal Rumble 2007 Match. I can't really do this match just seeing as these things typically work like a rollercoaster . . . up and down . . . exciting and dull . . . great and very disappointing. For the most part, though, this Rumble match veered toward exciting and great rather than d or d. This is due largely to placement since several of the early wrestlers were guys fans could see winning the thing. Aside from the fact that the ECW guys (aside from CMP and RVD) were fodder for Vince's crew, this year's Rumble had some great moments: (1) Ric Flair and Finlay starting the thing, (2) the chemistry of Orton and Edge, (3) the final seven minutes with HBK and Taker (though King's ignorance/forgetfulness of their past feud seemed a tad odd), (4) Khali's dominance timed perfectly with the entrance of Taker, (5) and so on and so on. It might not be my favorite Rumble, but the ending felt memorable and I admire the booking here, starting the thing off with big names, keeping the long match fresh, and ending it with an either-way, legend-sparring, back-and-forth dramatic finale. I never know how to rate these things: *** (56:17).
5. Bobbie Lashley (c) vs. Test (ECW World Title Match; Royal Rumble 2007). I must admit I was dreading this match before popping it in, but I actually liked about two or three mintues of it. When Lashley dominated early on, I dug his no-nonsense spear tackle in response to Test's petty slap. But when Test managed to take over, it came to a dead halt. His shoulder stunner looked a bit dangerous, but the armbar-a-thon just doesn't work as the major component of a control segment focused on hurting the arm or shoulder of an opponent. In addition, Test's frustration after hitting his Big Boot looked corny, and his choice to walk away from the match after Lashley clotheslined him was just horrible booking. After using a video package that seemed to indicate Test's great desire to win the ECW World Title, having the top challenger just walk away from the match without even taking a great deal of offense near the end of the bout (which didn't even pass the ten minute mark) just screams sloppy, shoddy, bullshit booking that actually hurts the status of the title rather than cementing the toughness of the champion. Not impressive at all . . . even with Lashley chasing down the runaway challenger. *1/2 [7:09]
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